Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
Randomize
