can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
Randomize
