The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
Randomize
