Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
Randomize
