ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
Randomize
