So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
Reggie can tackle my bush.
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
i'm too stoned to be pregnant. the kicking is morse code for wanting beef jerky.
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
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