so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
Randomize
