I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
Randomize
