You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
Randomize
