I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
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