I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
Randomize
