Where are you? I just made a vodka + cranberry & I’m going to drive there & throw it in your face
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
Randomize
