Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
Randomize
