You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
Moan for me like Helen Keller
if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
Randomize
