how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
I'm only texting you this bc god forbid circumstances change when you wake up but currently santa is asleep on top of the washer and dryer.
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
Randomize
