Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
Randomize
