david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
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