oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
Contents of my pockets this morning: phone, condom, one hoop earring, half a cheeseburger, lighter and a $87 receipt from tacobell. Time for work.
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
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