First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
Randomize
