The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
I would fuck him just for his dog
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize
