I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
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