meet me in the bathroom in 10 mins.
wait what? who are you hooking up with in the bathroom?!
aww shit wrong text.
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
Randomize
