found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
Never let your siblings swipe right.
Randomize
