guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
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