LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
Listen, Pinot Grigio got me pregnant. It can get you a boyfriend.
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
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