I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
My gut is currently telling me that Jesus did not intend for us to eat shrimp pad thai on Easter
Is this a considering it or regretting it text?
I just shit out what feels like an entire shrimp with claws and all. You tell me.
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
Randomize
