I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
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