i was born a porn star she said
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
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