Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
Randomize
