She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
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