Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
Randomize
