Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
i think i scared a bird with my dick
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
I'm hungover in the park, and some guy just handed me a business card for his church. I can feel Jesus' disapproval running through my fingertips
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
I have peed in a lot of sinks
Randomize
