You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
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