Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
Randomize
