Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
Randomize
