margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
Fun holiday story for you: Alex and I went out drinking. She left. I needed a ride home. Met this dude and told him to drive my car back. Once at my house, I made him take out my dog and then apologized for not wanting to make out with him. I said, let me go see if my roommate is interested and then I slept in Alex's bed all night.
20 bucks says he was an actual leprechaun
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
Randomize
