Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize
