I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
Randomize
