I would like to be the first to explain to you that if you've woken up with bruised knuckles this morning, it's because last night you tried climbing out of our car window and into the drive through window at maccas. The cashier chick freaked out and slammed the window on you and beat you around the head with her headset thingy.
Shittttttt.
Be not ashamed. It was youtube-worthy.
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
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