the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
Randomize
