You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
How come I'm the only one who's around when people show up? I had just taken a shit, I wasn't wearing pants, phantom of the opera was playing and the fridge said PENIS.
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
