Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
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