I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
It's really awkward to greet the pastor when I know I've licked chocolate syrup off his daughter's chest.
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
This is the minute she broke up with me. If you're receiving this mass text, you are one for the girls who made me promise to text you at this point.
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
Randomize
