He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
Randomize
