YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
I was born with a shot glass in my hand
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
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