Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
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