Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
You drew a lightning bolt on your eye and stomach in eye liner and made me sing Poker face with you in harmonies. I never knew you were still a music major when you were drunk.
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
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