Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
Randomize
