Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
Randomize
