i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
Randomize
