no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
That was before I lit my hair on fire
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
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