the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
Fun fact: My predictive text now prompts "walrus" as the most likely word to follow "intoxicated"...
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
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