She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
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