By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
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